Drug Festival Announces It Will Have Music This Year
The annual ‘Craic in the Park’ Drug Festival, which takes place in St. Stephen’s Green from July 11th till whenever all of the supplies run out, has announced it will…
Five Secret Tips for being the Ultimate University Tutor
Be cool. You want them to like you. This is your opportunity to be the teacher you always wished you had. If you follow these 5 steps, you’re well on…
Student Risked Starvation for Fear of Small Talk in Kitchen
In a recent interview, UCD student John Hughes shared his harrowing experience of how he almost starved to death in his Digs. The brave 19-year-old, who is enjoying his first…
Trump Resigns After Z-List Celebrity Roasts Him On Twitter
After a horrible year in office, during which time he enacted many awful policies that caused so much hurt and suffering for good people, Donald Trump was forced to resign…
Varadkar Recommends Buying Cryptocurrency to Raise Deposit for House
In the Dáil recently, An Taoiseach, Leo Varadkar, suggested that people should turn to cryptocurrency markets in order to raise the money for the deposit required for a mortgage. Under…
Aquaman Dies After Ingesting Plastic
It is with great sadness that I must recount the death of the dearly beloved superhero, Aquaman, AKA Arthur Curry, who passed away yesterday in a tragic accident. He was…
Hamster Starting to Think Playing Dead Prank Was a Bad Idea
“Initially I thought it would be hilarious you know, playing dead to freak out little Mary and her poor parents for a while”, Hammy the Hamster said in his exclusive…
Letter to the Editor: Millennials
Dear Editor, I am writing in to tell you how SICK I am of hearing and seeing MILLENNIALS whining about life and how they struggle to afford basic human necessities.…
Government Receiving Horrific Abuse on Social Media
This last week has been described as being tough for the government with many of our crazed citizens taking to the internet to express their dissatisfaction with its performance. A…
Woman Starting to Suspect Husband Does Not Play Guitar Or Use Weights
Sharon Williams has recently begun to suspect that Michael, her husband of 4 months, does not in fact play the guitar nor use the weights that are both placed prominently…
Microwave Control Debate Needed As Fifth Student Is Vaporised
Last Monday, UCD Student Centre witnessed yet another microwave-related tragedy. Another student suffered complete evaporation due to incorrect use of the new microwaves. There was an ambulance parked outside the…
5 Reasons Why UCD Students Don’t Clean Up After Themselves
UCD students are reportedly terrible at picking up after themselves despite being old enough to know how to do it. Peak rubbish-leaving areas include the Insomnia Café, Subway in the…