“Initially I thought it would be hilarious you know, playing dead to freak out little Mary and her poor parents for a while”, Hammy the Hamster said in his exclusive interview with the Turbine. “And, you know, to be fair, it was! The girl was totally freaking out and crying, and her parents were really bewildered because they had never had to deal with a dead pet before. I honestly had to try so hard to not laugh so I didn’t ruin the gag.”

Hammy explained that he “must have fallen asleep or something, because the next thing I knew I was in this dusty shoebox about two-foot under the ground in the back-garden. I must have been quite convincing if they actually thought I was dead! Although it’s clear the prank was funny and a great success, this is not an ideal position for a hamster to be in. I heard the neighbour’s cat sniffing around up on the surface earlier, but thankfully he didn’t start digging, so I really dodged a bullet there.”

“Right now I’m just hoping that Mary and her parents saw through my brilliant prank, and just buried me in the back garden in order to get back at me, perhaps just to scare me a bit so that I don’t pull a prank as good as this one again.’’ He confessed ‘’…they [Mary’s parents] have scared me, and I think they may have gone a bit too far. So, if you’re reading this, John, Sue and little Mary, this would be a really good time for you to dig me up and put me back into my nice warm cage. Please… this prank was such a terrible idea.’

Philip Mignon – Turbine Writer