UCD Steps Up Deportation of Culchies
UCD has stepped up its policy of deporting culchies following increased calls by populist Dublin student leaders (that are not smoked salmon socialists) to make “University College Dublin a university…
Does HEAR and DARE place rich, able-bodied students at a disadvantage?
The presence of HEAR, designed for students from disadvantaged socio-economic backgrounds, and DARE, a similar scheme for those with additional physical or educational needs, is intended to level the playing…
Ag Science Building Declares Independence and Forms Autonomous Microstate on Campus
Last week, UCD Agricultural Science students rose against the so-called ‘Jackeen rule’ of the UCD Belfield campus and the wider country, and declared the Ag Science building a sovereign and…
UCD students abroad discover they are not on holiday and still have assignments
It has reached the concerned ears of our reporters here at the Turbine that UCD students currently enjoying their bohemian lifestyle on the continent are being met with the realisation…
Project 2026/7: The not-so-secret plan that UCDSU doesn’t want you to know
Incoming SU President Orzo Frothers has disavowed any knowledge of Project 2026/7, a document published online by the UCD Heritage Foundation that details steps to strengthen the standing of the…
Cost of Renting County Leitrim now less than a Village Dorm
Last month, it was announced that UCD once again claimed the crown for the most expensive on-campus accommodation in Ireland, with an en-suite at Village 3 costing €11,888 for the…
RTÈ To be Funded Through Oxygen Consumption Tax
Over the last few years, many questions have been raised about the funding of the national broadcaster, RTÉ. Many feel that the TV License system is “unfair,” “outdated,” or, in…
Book of Kells Sequel Leaked on Reddit
Trinity College Dublin is in turmoil after the sequel to the only good piece of literature they’ve produced in 11 centuries was leaked on Reddit last week. The university, a…
The ‘Improvements’ IT Will Be Introducing This Year
After months of tirelessly working to ensure no system ever functions when it is needed most, UCD IT Services has announced a bold new batch of improvements, destined to enhance…
SU Council Vote To Endorse Jim Gavin
In an emergency council meeting held on Monday, the UCD Students’ Union (SU) passed a motion in support of Jim Gavin’s presidential bid. The move came less than a day…
New UO Election Poll Reveals Editors’ Inability to Use Canva
In a groundbreaking attempt to combine visual chaos with statistical irrelevance, the University Observer has released a “poll” of this year’s UCDSU election results—proving once and for all that Canva…
The Independent Takeover: A New Dawn in the Dáil
As the latest iteration of the Dáil convened, many of those who placed their faith in independent candidates were eagerly awaiting the conclusion of coalition talks. With the heavy hitters…