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With the start of a new semester, a whole new wave of foreign students have arrived on campus. This semi-comprehensive list of 30 words and phrases should help anyone who is not a native find their way around our campus filled with spectacularly eloquent students.

1. (What’s the) Story: Hello

2. Basshunter: DJ whom we are contractually obliged to hire for everything.

3. Battered: (1) Over exaggeration of a fight “I battered him”, (2) Cooking process involving oil and batter.

4. Be Grand: See Re-sits.

5. Bird/Burd: Polite term for woman, often used in a possessive manner. Eg, “Me Burd”.

6. Brits: 800 years of oppression.

7. C**t: Respected club.

8. Coppers: Vulgar expletive.

9. Craic: A dangerous narcotic. If your mate says he “had the craic”, find new friends.

10. Culchie: Country Lad

11. Da: Respected Father figure.

12. Daddy: D4’s Bank account.

13. Dub: Fine fellow from the city

14. nGardaí: (nyar-dee) Policemen

15. Here: Typically preceded by “Ah”, indication that you may have crossed a line.

16. Howaya: (1) Greeting typically preceded by “Ah Jaysus”, (2) A vulgar man/woman.

17. Jaegerbombs: (1) IRA invention, cause of The Troubles. (2) Something that seemed like a good idea at the time.

18. Jaysus: Jesus Christ. Ireland is still a Catholic country, we swear.

19. Johnny: (1) Condom, (2) Your mate John. Don’t mix these up.

20. Ma: Inexpensive Restaurant.

21. Mot(h): Girlfriend.

22. Penny’s: Cheap and easy to tear.

23. Quaar: (kware) A compliment to a farmer

24. Re-sits: 2nd Time lucky.

25. Slapper: An ill-dressed or promiscuous woman. This phrase is typically used by an equally promiscuous woman who is jealous of the afore mentioned woman.

26. The Mickey: Take it.

27. Trinity: See Brits.

28. Wan: Typically preceded by “Yer”, indication that a name has escaped the speaker

29. Wha?: I didn’t quite catch that, can you repeat what you said a bit slower for me please?

30. Yoke: (1) Chicken Foetus, (2) Narcotic.