Tiny Fluffy Puppy made redundant following Mind, Body & Soul
A tiny fluffy puppy has been left heartbroken this week following a compulsory lay-off action by his employer. The axing comes in the wake of the Mind Body +&/ Soul…
Turbine: Classifieds
WANTED: Revised and up to date books. If you can help email library@ucd.ie FOR SALE: UCDSU Commercial Services Ltd. All offers considered MISSING: “Free Fees” last seen in the late…
University President Attends Function in Australia
Over the summer break, university president Andrew Deeks attended a number of functions representing UCD to the wider academic and business communities. These functions typically entail much hand-shaking, back-patting and…
Turbine: Photo of the Week
A heartwarming story of an addict dog who overcame temptation hit headlines this week, warming the hearts of millions. The dog in question, Monty the Dog, had been struggling with…
Turbine: News in Brief
College started back last week, a lot of students are having trouble finding accomodation. This week is Fresher’s week. There’s a whole load of really heavy stuff going on out…
First fatality confirmed from attempting to keep up New Year’s Resolutions
We here at the Turbine are sad to report the first Resolution-related death of 2015 here in Ireland. Paddy McGuire, pharmacy age 32, nurse died of a heroin overdose early…
Emotional scenes as students are gradually taught how to write after the Christmas Break
Following in the wake of awkward family gatherings, 12 Pubs shenanigans, the stress of a part time retail job and general excess, many UCD students upon their return to college…
Parent’s Struggle To Explain To Their Children That Santa Has A Budget
As Christmas draws near, store hundreds of children are writing to the big man up North in the hope of receiving their entire Christmas Wish List. In the background of…
The Turbine does: Exams
Well, buy viagra it had to happen someday. Winter is coming, the air has a chill to it, and exam season is almost upon us. Thankfully, the Turbine is on…
Turbine: Shirt Threatens To Brainwash Generation Of Pre-Teens Into Hating Science
In the wake of the controversy caused by the shirt worn by European Space Agency’s Matt Taylor during an interview after his mission’s success, levitra hundreds of young girls have…
The Turbine Does: Music
In this new feature, shop the Turbine will attempt to do one of the sections of the paper better than said section. Since we consistently outperform the News section in…
Pay and Display for Cyclists Later this Year
UCD’s buildings office has triumphed once more in its efforts to milk the student population for every last cent in their pockets. Following the overwhelmingly positive reaction to their recent…