Advice To The Spanish Government
Dear Spaniards, After witnessing your recent fracas with some of your people, I would like to offer you two pieces of advice based on our experience with the Irish. When…
Man Wakes Up With Bizarre Face Tattoo Removed
Daniel Fisher woke up at noon last Sunday with a splitting headache after a night of drinking with the lads. “I knew something was up the moment I woke up”,…
5 things You Can Say About Trump That You Can Also Say About The Bee Movie
Tired of having to think of different ways to describe current President of the United States and the 2007 Dreamworks animated comedy? Now you don’t have to be. Here are…
Is It Time to Legalise Aloe Vera?
Over recent years there has been varied debates about whether we should legalise Aloe Vera, or just keep it illegal. Maybe just recreational and medicinal, or just medicinal. I believe…
The Return of Society-Related Violence to UCD?
With the college term starting back, there are fresh fears among the student body of UCD that society affiliated violence will break out again this semester, just like it did…
Sun Recovering After Looking Directly at Trump
The Sun has told the Turbine of the injury she received after looking directly into the eyes of the President of the United States during the solar eclipse a few…
Agnostic Extremists on The Fence About Terror Campaign
A controversial report from An Garda Síochána, which was released to the public last week, outlined Gardaí fears of potential Agnostic extremism boiling over into terror attacks in Ireland. In…
Peeing on Jellyfish Stings “a Joke Too Far” Say Doctors
The World Doctors Association have admitted in a recent statement to the press that jellyfish stings are not cured by urinating on them, as they once claimed. Dr Owen Lee…
Getting Ripped in Time for the Exams
As May draws closer, many students across the college have been looking for quick ways to get shredded in time for the exams. ‘The RDS is unforgiving,’ said one student.…
Macabre SU Petting Zoo Fails to Reduce Anxiety
With the exams fast approaching, the UCD Students’ Union has organised a petting zoo on campus with the aim of reducing nerves across the student body. ‘The petting zoos of…
Shag Carpets Introduced across UCD
Students returned to UCD earlier this week to discover the floor in each campus building had been laid with new shag carpets. The carpet style, which hurdled out of date…
Lecturer Awkwardly spends Entire YouTube Video Trying to get the Sound to Work
Third year commerce students came out of a lecture this past Monday in which a lecturer had been thoroughly confused by technology. Half way through the class the professor said…