Inspired by a recent study which has revealed that a recent trend being called “breathing” may be leading to increased carbon emissions, a 400-strong group of students and activists marched on Leinster House demanding the government ban the popular trend.

Protesters across Europe chanted at their respective houses of parliament, attempting to draw attention to the fact that humans across the world are ‘breathing out’ around 2500 million tonnes of Carbon Dioxide each year. This amounts to about 7 per cent of the annual CO2 tonnage of the fossil fuel industry.

Some of the Extinction Rebellion protestors were even seen ‘breathing’ during the protest, giving support to concerns that users may be developing a dependence on the substance. International concerns prompted the U.S. Department of Health to conduct research into a substance called ‘oxygen’ which is thought to be the cause of the addiction.

The Turbine spoke to one user of ‘oxygen’ who claimed he “couldn’t live without it”. Religious groups are calling on the government to fund “oxygen addiction” centres across Ireland in order to reduce the number of morose addicts stumbling across Dublin constantly gasping for air.

The new fad involves sucking this gas into your mouth and down into your lungs. Despite rumours that the trend may have been started by a hacker named ‘4chan’, the Turbine can now confirm that the trend was started by students who were desperately trying to find a way to stay awake before midterm exams. 

Oxygen can be VERY addictive, if you, or one of your loved ones comes into contact with the substance, do not “just try it once” you may become reliant on the substance.


Dugh Hooley – Turbine Writer