Turbine – College Tribune

Culture Shock: French Students Left Disoriented by Irish Student Protest

Editor — Wed, 07 Oct 2026 10:20:42 +0000

Last Thursday’s protest organised by AMLÉ might have been the largest and most memorable student protest that Dublin City had seen for many years, but to the French international students in attendance it was nothing but baffling. We spoke to Luca, a Parisian student studying French Law in UCD, who attended the protest. Wearing a […]

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Experts Warn of Students’ Unions’ Drift towards Authoritarianism

Editor — Sun, 20 Sep 2026 16:45:46 +0000

The UCD Students’ Union has, in its time, overseen some shocking displays of inefficiency, from failing to reach a voter turnout of more than 10% for multiple elections in a row, to accumulating debt and requiring a bailout, and who could forget the student events without any students at them. Now, an expert in the […]

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Ireland is Europe’s 4th Most Expensive City – Government Unveils Plans to Move It to 1st.

Editor — Tue, 15 Sep 2026 16:47:25 +0000

“You’ve heard of money,” began Minister for Finance Simon Harris’ speech to the Dáil this Thursday afternoon: “now get ready for… none of that.” The ‘No More Money’ scheme, to be introduced as part of the 2027 Budget, reportedly received a standing ovation from government members in the Dáil this week, making it Harris’ first […]

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Interview with a Doonbeg resident on the visit of Donald Trump

Editor — Tue, 15 Sep 2026 16:43:55 +0000

In anticipation of President Donald Trump’s upcoming visit to Ireland and his Doonbeg resort in early September, The Turbine Investigative Team took a trip north to gauge the reaction of local residents to what will be the President’s first visit here since the beginning of his second term. Most residents were unsurprisingly wary of speaking […]

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A Guide to the Species of UCD Students

Editor — Tue, 15 Sep 2026 11:45:54 +0000

The citizenry of UCD Belfield is diverse and complex, especially for those unaware of the different cliques that exist on campus. To mark this new academic year, The Turbine team has compiled an outline of the different species of students most commonly found on campus. The D4 Aristocrat An insular sect often unwilling to venture […]

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Should Newman be Preserved for Future Generations?

Editor — Tue, 15 Sep 2026 11:40:09 +0000

Concourses reminiscent of a Soviet metro station, a “no-smoking” smoking area, and enough hidden-away classrooms to host a rapidly fracturing left-wing movement; could this be the end of an era? The Newman Building represents a fortress of Arts & Humanities in UCD, but new plans have been revealed to give it an extensive refurbishment. Work […]

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UCD Steps Up Deportation of Culchies

Editor — Tue, 07 Apr 2026 19:41:00 +0000

UCD has stepped up its policy of deporting culchies following increased calls by populist Dublin student leaders (that are not smoked salmon socialists) to make “University College Dublin a university FOR Dublin”. Reports of vast raids across Glenomena and other known Culchie hotspots in UCD have been received by the Turbine Investigative Team (TIT) over […]

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Does HEAR and DARE place rich, able-bodied students at a disadvantage?

Editor — Tue, 07 Apr 2026 19:38:00 +0000

The presence of HEAR, designed for students from disadvantaged socio-economic backgrounds, and DARE, a similar scheme for those with additional physical or educational needs, is intended to level the playing field for Irish third-level students, but in fact does quite the opposite. For the students who grew up in well-off households, attended elite private schools, […]

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Ag Science Building Declares Independence and Forms Autonomous Microstate on Campus

Editor — Tue, 07 Apr 2026 19:34:00 +0000

Last week, UCD Agricultural Science students rose against the so-called ‘Jackeen rule’ of the UCD Belfield campus and the wider country, and declared the Ag Science building a sovereign and independent nation. The rebellion lasted all of ten minutes because, despite its central location on campus, literally nobody else ever steps foot in that building. […]

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UCD students abroad discover they are not on holiday and still have assignments

Editor — Tue, 07 Apr 2026 19:31:00 +0000

It has reached the concerned ears of our reporters here at the Turbine that UCD students currently enjoying their bohemian lifestyle on the continent are being met with the realisation that they actually have to complete an “academic component” in order to pass. Our sources report shock and anger among the students, many of whom […]

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Project 2026/7: The not-so-secret plan that UCDSU doesn’t want you to know

Editor — Tue, 07 Apr 2026 19:19:00 +0000

Incoming SU President Orzo Frothers has disavowed any knowledge of Project 2026/7, a document published online by the UCD Heritage Foundation that details steps to strengthen the standing of the Literary & Historical Society within UCD’s administrative structure. The 978-page document outlines how UCD’s institutions might be overhauled, with the main benefactors being members of […]

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Cost of Renting County Leitrim now less than a Village Dorm

Editor — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:16:10 +0000

Last month, it was announced that UCD once again claimed the crown for the most expensive on-campus accommodation in Ireland, with an en-suite at Village 3 costing €11,888 for the year. Turbine investigators have found that for the same price of a shoebox with no oven and mould that dates back to the Celtic Tiger, […]

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RTÈ To be Funded Through Oxygen Consumption Tax

Editor — Mon, 16 Mar 2026 15:13:43 +0000

Over the last few years, many questions have been raised about the funding of the national broadcaster, RTÉ. Many feel that the TV License system is “unfair,” “outdated,” or, in the words of one disgruntled taxpayer, “daylight fecking robbery.” In a rare case where the government addresses an issue long after public outrage has died […]

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