Apathetic voters in the upcoming referendum on UCDSU’s membership of USI have launched their very own campaign, USI-Don’t Give A Fuck! The inaugural USI-DGAF Campaign is being run by Engineering and Physics students with the aim of encouraging students to completely forget about voting in whatever the SU is asking people to vote in this year.

The Campaign says; “The majority of students don’t even know there’s a referendum taking place, those aren’t our target audience. We’re after the students who accidentally heard about the referendum and should really forget about it.”

I asked the suspicious man running the campaign what the central argument of the campaign was:

“We don’t care, and you shouldn’t either… unless you want to… Like, do whatever you want like, I don’t give a shit.”

“If you disagree with us, that’s cool, we aren’t bothered having a fight.”

I asked how the USI-DGAF Campaign plan to compete with the organised Yes Campaign; “We don’t have any plans for our campaign, we were going to put up posters but we lost interest in that and forgot to.”

Does USI-DGAF have a chance of getting their way and having apathy achieve victory in the upcoming referendum? We harassed students around UCD until they answered our questions.

“I almost googled what USI was during a boring lecture but then I saw some paint drying on the wall of the classroom and got distracted,” said Hugh Cares, who spoke to the Turbine on condition of anonymity.

“I literally don’t even go here,” said a suspicious man who was clearly a deep state operative trying to shut down this serious investigation.

We went into the engineering building to ask the real heart of the campaign some questions such as Do you care about the SU? And can you help me with my economics homework? We were ignored.

The engineering students, much like the USI-DGAF Campaign, just don’t care.

Dugh Hooley – Deep State Operative