SU Council Vote To Endorse Jim Gavin
In an emergency council meeting held on Monday, the UCD Students’ Union (SU) passed a motion in support of Jim Gavin’s presidential bid. The move came less than a day…
New UO Election Poll Reveals Editors’ Inability to Use Canva
In a groundbreaking attempt to combine visual chaos with statistical irrelevance, the University Observer has released a “poll” of this year’s UCDSU election results—proving once and for all that Canva…
The Independent Takeover: A New Dawn in the Dáil
As the latest iteration of the Dáil convened, many of those who placed their faith in independent candidates were eagerly awaiting the conclusion of coalition talks. With the heavy hitters…
UCD Estates Accidentally Open Portal to Hell During Exam Venue Setup
In what can only be described as a surprising turn of events, UCD Estates has inadvertently created an endless, infernal labyrinth while setting up the 2024 exam venue in the…
Silent Night, Estate’s Delight: UCD Cancels Christmas Cheer
Fearing that their recent email didn’t scare enough students into suppressing their remaining bliss, UCD Estate Services announced plans today to ensure that UCD College Christmas truly resembles a Mormon…
The Great Ó Broin-Off: Dublin Mid-West’s Election Head-Scratcher
Dublin Mid-West finds itself at the centre of the political universe this election season, as not one but two Eoin Ó Broins battle it out for supremacy in what has…
UCD Call for the CAO to be Replaced by a Lottery Modelled off the Vietnam War Draft
As incoming stage 1 undergraduates will be well aware, the Leaving Certificate is brutal. It is an archaic system that pits students head to head so that they can fight…
Government to Deploy Mirrors in Dublin to Fake Increased Garda Presence
Over the last year, the public perception of safety in Dublin has drastically deteriorated, with many residents now believing that they are living in an apocalyptic movie. Pressure has been…
UCD proposes ‘Book of Navan’ to compete with Trinity’s tourism boom
The Book of Kells is an Irish tourism staple, and over one million people flock to Trinity College to see the manuscript every year. With adult tickets to the attraction…
The 39A Recipe: Full Student Meal, Packed with Alcohol and Noise
Prep time: 15 minutes at the bus stop (If it shows up) Cook time: Between 40 minutes and 2 hours (Depending on the traffic) Serves: You Right. When I was…
Turbine Investigation Team (TIT) Exclusive: The Day in the Life of a Government Advisor
Our chief investigator here at the Turbine Investigation Team (Or Top TIT as he’s most commonly known) recently got the chance to lift the veil on what a day in…
Bronze Statue Outside Sutherland Insists ‘It’s just the cold weather.’
Recently, The Turbine was able to catch up with everyone’s favourite nude, bronze statue to touch upon the changing seasons and the numerous hardships that come with it. Erected in…