A recently published report by the Society for the Good Treatment of Jockeys showed that 127 Jockeys are shot on average every year. The report was conducted as 180 Jockeys were shot last year alone, so that prompted the society’s investigation into the matter.

Many horses have responded to the report and most have offered their support for new rules for jockey racing… we think. However, one horse, Jack of All Trades, remarked that he hates to see jockeys being shot, but claims that there is nothing anyone can do as it would be unkind to let them suffer. He stated that, although the practice is gruesome, it is in fact the only way of dealing with the injured jockeys. At least that’s what we translated from all his neighing.

The SGTJ responded to Jack of All Trades remark on Twitter a few days ago. They asked him if he knew ‘…what it feels like to be strapped to a human and forced to endure a dangerous race course for the amusement of a large group of half drunk horses’. Jack of All Trades responded by tweeting ‘’etgyiiwkdjw_2%34’’ (because he is a horse and horses can’t type. Do you get it? Do you get the joke? Do you?). To be fair, he has a point. Probably…. Again, we’re just guessing what they’re saying. Bit of harmless fun really.

The age old debate still rages on, should we continue to shoot injured jockeys, or is there a better way of dealing with the situation? Should we just shoot the horses instead and free ourselves from this nightmare world where there’s some weird, unexplained Planet of The Apes role reversal thing going on with us and horses? Is this article getting tiresome? Should I just stop here? Yes I think I’ll st

Seán Farbuckt – Turbine Writer