The Belfield campus Subway has recently been awarded three Michelin Stars following renowned Chef Gordon Ramsay’s visit to the Campus in December.

As part of a clandestine world tour, he agreed to assist publishers of the Michelin guide to rate non-restaurant food with a particular focus on Irish Gastro Pubs. We were lucky enough to interview Chef Ramsay whilst he attended UCD Campus, which he visited intoxicated following a successful completion of the 12 pubs challenge. He confirmed his choice was influenced by his inquisitive nature, and intense need for nourishment. ‘Any shithole will do.’

He was guided by UCD president Andrew Deeks to the clubhouse wherein he was presented with a starter of signature chicken dippers. ‘Taste like Rat Loins’. Mr Deeks assured Chef Ramsay that the best was yet to come, and ensured he was presented with the finest meal on the menu, a hearty stew. ‘The lamb is so undercooked it fucking followed Mary to School’. Mr Deeks declined to comment on the veracity of that statement.

Following a long bathroom break, Chef Ramsay staggered towards the SU shop where he was presented with an infamous hangover cure. A chicken fillet roll. After dry heaving profusely he Indicated towards an aggressive swan in the lake and stated, ‘make us a swan sandwich’.

When presented with the Gerard Manley Hopkins signature “Irish stew” versus the “Meat ball marinara sandwich from Subway”, Andrew Deeks instantly recommended the latter, declining to comment on the reasons for his choice. ‘This Man knows what he’s fucking talking about. Right slap on a star for subway’. Upon discovering that Subway had already received 2 Michelin stars, Ramsay was not wholeheartedly surprised. ‘Only place in Donnybrook that didn’t have me glued to the shitter’. 

We look forward to welcoming Chef Ramsay to Belfield again soon!

The Jessanatar – line cook